Futurized Resurrection

Day of Ashoora. I wake up for suhoor. eat. pray. go back to sleep- and then have the most craziest dream ever.

I wont go into details because I have heard about not telling people your about your bad dreams. But this wasnt a bad dream. Im not sure if it was a good dream either. Im just going to take it as a rahmah from Allah. And as a reminder.

So in my dream, I am dying. Not a painful death but a death none the less. To die I had to disappear into a forest(this is one of those really random dreams btw). After I died, I found my self in a room where I was waiting in line to be judged. There was an old monitor screen in the room and woman appeared on the screen. All the people standing in the line had to put their 2 fingers on the screen while the woman on the other side of the monitor connected her two fingers with yours. At that moment, the person would be transported to either Hell or Heaven.

I stood in line waiting to be transported.  All of the sudden, a fear came over me. What if I go to Hell!? What if my bad deeds are more than my good deeds?! Why have I been thinking that I am going to heaven?! And I can tell you now, that this fear that came over was worse than any other fear that I have ever felt. I felt like this was really happening to me! At this point I started to remember so many sins that I had committed. big and small. Even all the times that I lied to someone. I think I remembered lying to my parents once(in the dream), and that one hit me real hard. As I got closer and closer to the monitor screen, I started to get more scared. Why did I treat sins like they did not matter in the dunya? Why did I not care? How foolish could I have been?

Then it was my turn. I put my fingers on the monitor screen………and then some other stuff happened and I cant really remember it.

What I got out of it: Every single sin that you do in this life – no matter how big or small it is – the weight that it will carry on the Day of Judgment will be enough to make you think you are going straight to hell. Its funny how when we commit sins we dont think of them much, but think about how much they are going to mean to us on the Day of Judgment. When you are standing there waiting for your book of deeds to fall down. Will it fall into your right hand or will it fall into your left hand? That moment.. where you see the book coming down to you.. you will regret every single moment of your life when you disobeyed Allah. When you did something that angered Him.  When you were wasting when instead you should have been asking Allah to forgive you.  You may not think of it much right now, but then again, you arent standing waiting to be judged..not yet. But verily, that time will come. Dont screw yourself over. After you do something bad, after you disobey Allah — REPENT. Dont wait. Do is asap.  Dont let shaytaan trap you.

Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as say- ing: He who seeks repentance (from the Lord) before the rising of the sun from the west (before the Day of Resurrection), Allah turns to him with Mercy. (Sahih Muslim)

Trials

I know of a brother who recently had to drop out of school so he could get a job to help out his family. He was going to graduate this semester, but he had to drop out. I know of a brother who is living his life after losing his mother. His mother whom he loved so much. His sisters have married and moved on. I know of a brother who does not have a house. He does not even have enough money to feed him every day. I know of a sister who got engaged to a brother, but had to break it up for personal reasons. I know of a mother, who had to listen to her daughter being murdered on the phone…overseas. Allahu Akbar…and I sometimes feel like I am being given hard tests.Yet here we are.. complaining about the dumbest things. We have so much to be thankful for. Alhamdulillah.

“Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. “Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people.”(Baqarah:286)

Soreness brings khushoo

I love being sore. Yes, it hurts – oh so much. Yet, I love the feeling. Coming back home from the gym and barely being able to turn the steering wheel has a very interesting result on my body. And the best part of it, I move so much slower. You may wonder why is it a good thing that I move so much slower after I workout. SubhanAllah, soreness helps me so much in salaah. And it helps me fulfill the pillar of salaah called ‘tumma’neenah’(Calmness). Even when I raise my hands, the movement is so nice and slow, I really feel like I am praying.

I remember the first time I worked out. I came home and started to pray isha. When i went down for sujood, I was so fatigued that my hands could not even support my body so my face went down slamming into the ground! After that experience I learned my lesson and went down MUCH slower alhamdulillah.

Salaah means so much more when it is done slowly with concentration. SubhanAllah, even surah fatiha, when I am reciting it and actually thinking about the meaning, sometimes I just feel like reciting these ayat over and over again:

 

 

It is You we worship and You we ask for help.

 

 

Guide us to the straight path

 

 

These ayat are so simple, yet so powerful. How many times a day does it feel like we have left the straight path. How many times a day does it feel like we are on the path that has angered Allah, instead of the path that of those whom Allah has favored. May Allah give us the ability to worship Him as He should be worshiped. And may He guide us all to the straight path. By the way, if you do not know the meaning of surah fatihah, please memorize it. Break up the words and memorize the meanings. This is something sooo important and something that can really help you in your prayer. I recently discovered that my sunday school kids were clueless about the meaning of surah fatiha. May Allah increase us all in knowledge that benefits.

Explosion of thoughts

So I started this blog yet I cant think of anything to write. SubhanAllah. I really need to start channeling my thoughts better instead of letting them all come out whenever, uncontrolled. Last night as I lay on the ground after coming from a certain speaker workshop, I couldnt help but think that so much of what I do and am doing is all to please my parents. I would go and study Islam if I had the chance, but alhamdulillah, maybe Allah has other plans for me. I tried to study and go into medicine, yet I was miserable for a whole semester. I dont think I would be able to survive a minimum of eight years studying this stuff. Alhamdulillah, maybe Allah has a better plan for me…inshaAllah Now I am trying to go on this journey of studying accounting, yet I cant help but feel this weird feeling that I am heading down a long road of hardships. InshaAllah I come out victorious!

My parents really want me to make a lot of money. But I really dont want a lot of money. They say that if I have a lot of money I can donate it and get ajr. SubhanAllah, how many of todays rich people end up making that money to donate. Im not saying I want to be poor or anything. I just want to live a decent life, and to my parents… the word “decent” has a very different definition in their dictionary.

All I want to do is get a job and start my family. Allahu Akbar, just thinking about having a family brings a smile to my eyes.

ok im not really in the mood to write right now, not much going through my head:)

oh yea…

women are fitnah.

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Alhamdulillahi Rabbil ‘Alamin.

All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.

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