Shaytaan: Come on, try it.
Me: no
Shaytaan: You don’t even know what its like. How can you say no so fast?
Me: I know from others. Ive seen how bad it is. Ive seen what it can do to your brain….to you heart. NO.
Shaytaan: Ok, so you know what it does..but…why don’t you try it out so you actually know how bad it is. You will have some experience. When you warn someone from it.. you can speak with experience. And since you will have experienced it already… you will be stronger and will never do it again.
Me: Wait….wha?
Shaytaan: Yea, yea.. really.. Why do you think those who converted to Islam are so strong in their deen? Its because they have experienced all that other junk out there, and they really know how beautiful Islam is. You on the other hand are not even thankful. You should do it, so you can come back to Islam and then be stronger in your deen.
Me: What!? thats crazy… That would never work. That doesn’t even make sense…
Shaytaan: Ok ok, look at the sahabahs then. Why do you think they had so much taqwa? Why do you think that all they needed to hear was a small reminder, and that would put them back in line. It was because a majority of them accepted Islam. And a lot of them used to do it before – in their jahiliyya days. They know how bad it is.. They know what it does to you..and they turned out fine.
And they became the best of people. Don’t you want to be like them?
Try it out, and when you come back to Islam – just watch… you will be so firm. Nothing will be able to sway you. None of those distractions will matter. When you advise, you will advise from your heart. You will speak from experience.
Me: Thats stupid. Who’s to say that I will be able to come back to Islam? What if I stay there? Thats dumb. Idiot. Go away. Why are you even telling me this?
_______ : Why would Shaytaan be telling you this? This is what your heart is saying. This is what you feel inside.
Me: WHAT!..I dont think so. Astaghfirullah. Thats ridiculous. ‘Authubillah. You are shaytaan. And you just want me to lose my focus. Never. I will never listen to you.
SubhanAllah its amazing what reasoning shaytaan will use to whisper things into your mind. I think I just had to type out his reason to realize how ridiculous it sounded. For some reason it was making me think quite a bit in my mind. Or maybe I just think too much.
But now I laugh. So stupid.
As crazy as this may sound… Shaytaan (or whomever that is) kind of nailed it.
Obviously, don’t commit a sin for the sole reason of failing… he got that wrong.
But in life… if you do happen to screw up… the feeling of picking up all the broken pieces after failing, and gluing them back together… is so humbling.
The pain, the regret, the worthlessness… it’s all there for a reason.
You’ll hate it, and you’ll hate yourself.. in that moment.
But later on, you will not be able to thank Allah enough for giving you such a hard hard fall, because… failure is truly a means of becoming stronger.
That which does not kill you, only makes you stronger.
that was interesting, and actually makes a lot of sense…subhanAllah.